vocaroo:

“go to bed, it’s 2am”

i can’t, mother

i have a blog to run

punkest:

BUT I SET FIRE TO THE RAIN

but it was actually gasoline pouring from the ceiling and now i have 3rd degree burns

vocaroo:

there’s a cat that randomly walks around our college campus but has never been seen in the same place as the principal which is a little SUSPICIOUS DON’T U THINK

so i spread a rumour that the principal can physically turn into a cat at will and now half of the college believes in this conspiracy that our headteacher is an animagus

vocaroo:

when people pronounce “ikea” like this

when you’re supposed to say it like this

punkest:

when i’m bored i annoy people on facebook

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bloodgods:

Things I’ve seen people who’ve simply just watched that video being called:

• Inspirational
• Good hearted
• A role model to all

Things I’ve been called because I’ve researched the subject and educated myself:

• Arrogant
• Cynical
• Hipster cunt